Personally, two years into my first-ever lesbian relationship, I’m very blissful to take the time to renowned the tremendous lesbians out there in the world — my female friend included. And, as anyone who has had intercourse with ladies however solely dated guys earlier than this relationship, I recognize being in a lesbian relationship all the more.
Firstly, I’m a bisexual and proud of it.
And being in a lesbian relationship in no way takes away from the reality that I am a bisexual — there is no acceptance of bi erasure here. Still bi. Still here. Still proud. But what being in a lesbian relationship has finished is made me comprehend how effing super being in a lesbian relationship is. Because there are a lot of variations between courting a man and courting a girl and most of them make me so freaking grateful that the character I fell for is a fellow femme.
So if you have ever concept about performing out your sapphic leanings and switching your Tinder search to women, right here are some elements well worth considering.
I hate the cheque dance on dates. The thinking that I mustn’t pay is a patronizing throwback to when ladies were, you know, essentially property.
I do not care that it is tradition, I discover it virtually uncomfortable and a little insulting when any person acts like I should not pay. With a woman, it is no longer awkward at all (or at least, simply the ordinary quantity of cash awkwardness).
If you’ve got ever had to congratulate a man for no longer being a misogynistic assh*le, you may understand what I’m speakme about.
I was once unwell of praising any one for being a feminist or it feeling like a deliberate preference when my desires had been valued as lots as they were.
In a hetero relationship, you are usually encountering gender norms — whether or not adhering to or ignoring them.
With two women, you simply get to sidestep them completely.
OK, it is now not all good. There will be blood. A lot of blood. But fortuitously no squeamishness round it — and there is almost continually a spare tampon laying around. Seriously. Our condo is 90-per-cent tampons.
Like I said, some matters are tougher with women. I used to be in reality way greater self-conscious relationship ladies than courting men. Even even though I suppose of guys as being extra judgmental, feeling like there is a greater direct contrast between you and your accomplice used to be difficult at first. But as soon as I acquired over it, I’ve by no means felt greater assured than when I’ve been courting a woman.
THIS. This is the high-quality aspect ever.
There’s no micromanaging a man’s feelings. There’s no stress of being the solely individual who notices that you want to purchase bathroom paper or that you want to purchase a birthday gift. No praising anyone due to the fact they did a single effing dish after dinner.
There’s no silent resentment brewing over home tasks or errands, due to the fact we each come at matters from the identical location — the burden is virtually split, alternatively than having to inform any person what to do and feeling like a nag.
I know, I recognize — #NotAllMen. I’m making a primary generalization right here based totally on my non-public journey with a handful of guys and my contemporary journey with one awesome-ass lady. If you have bought your self a man who places in that intellectual labour, you are killing it. Have him inform his friends. Encourage him to lead a seminar.
This one sucks. So. Many. Effing. Creeps. I cannot even inform you. But you study to stay with it.
This isn’t always simply me and my lady friend — it is science. Lesbians have extra orgasms than anybody else. The home-court benefit honestly holds authentic however it is extra than that. Because nobody’s orgasm is regarded the “main event,” you each get a lot of attention.
Oh, and due to the fact there may be no male orgasm for a large finish, it potential intercourse can simply type of hold going forever. It’s awesome.
I understand many guys are receptive to touchy conversations, and some guys can even be MORE emotional than their girl SOs, however so many of my pals are scared of searching “emotional” to their boyfriends. They do not desire to be a hassle or, worse, be dumped for being “hysterical.”
Now, my lady friend and I do not meet the lesbian stereotype of sitting round speaking about our emotions for hours — that would be boring. But I sense definitely invulnerable citing if something’s bugging or upsetting me, no rely how small. It skill we deal with problems as they come up, earlier than we’re confused to breaking point.
This is the backside line — and the most necessary phase of relationship a woman. Sure, section of it is due to the fact my lady friend is mainly amazing, however in my experience, relationship a female has supposed feeling like it is a genuine, equal partnership.
We come at matters from the identical place. Nobody’s profession is greater important. Nobody is the ‘head’ of our relationship. Nobody is predicted to do thankless tasks. Our future plans and desires and goals depend equally.
Of path there are guys out there who are exceptional human beings and make brilliant companions — and some girls who are egocentric as hell. But I’ve located that, whilst courting a woman, there may be so a great deal greater equality and understanding. I experience like an equal accomplice in my relationship — and it’s simply how it need to be.